The bridges we cross
by niewypowiedziane
Summary: Less than 24 hours "after", Tony, Natasha, and Nick meet to discuss the future (and pretend everything is fine because someone has to). Spoilers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier!


**The bridges we cross**

'Sorry, I bought this, didn't have time to make anything really,' Tony says when the space opens in front of him. Natasha takes the box and looks inside with a frown that only deepens when she realizes what it is.

'Only you could get care to get cronuts in the face of a worldwide catastrophe.'

'You know me,' he grins. His shoes make loud noises that echo in the – almost cave, he guesses, is most accurate. A bunker maybe. 'And I had someone buy them for me.'

(Pepper will be safe with Maria, they both promised, if/when Tony will have to go away)

The room smells like dampness and concrete when Tony reaches the table and opens the whiskey. It adds a nice sweet undertone to the air that makes his chest tight.

'I propose a toast in the _living_ memory of Fury, Nicolas J,' he says loudly, pouring an inch into each of the three glasses. Everything seems exaggerated in this empty space, even the soft murmur of the liquid and their breaths.

(a lot of conversations is long looks and tiny gestures these days, words feel novel because words can be read or listened to)

'Don't get all smartass here,' Fury scowls, sitting down in his chair, 'I don't have patience for that.'

'That's a quite cozy little place you've got,' Tony continues with a small smirk, pushing the last glass across the table. Natasha picks it up gracefully and takes a sip, making the ice cubes rattle. 'In case of nuclear war, at least.'

'I'd like to be prepared for the eventuality,' she mutters, biting into one of the pastries and murmuring with appreciation, and then rests her head on her arm. She's tired, and there is no hope for time off anytime soon, so she gladly takes the chance to relax a little.

'Yeah, Soviet Russia upbringing.'

'_Stark_ –'

'I winked at her. She knows I'm joking,' Tony protests and leans back in the chair. 'So?...'

'So?'

'You know what Tony wants, Nick,' Natasha mumbles around the last bite and pushes the box towards Fury. 'Don't play silly. Almost dying doesn't mean you don't have to do it.'

'Annoying brats,' Fury mutters, glancing down at the arm in sling hugging his sore chest, and takes an exaggerated theatrical breath. 'I'm sorry, Stark, all right? Does that satisfy you? Because I'm not going to say it twice.'

'… it makes things a little brighter. Just a little,' Tony says, lacing the words with forced lightness, and lets the humming sound consume them for a few minutes.

'I still don't get why you'd all gang up on me and make me apologize,' Fury says half-accusingly, half-playfully, for him that is. 'When you knew what was going on with HYDRA and that I couldn't stop the works on the 'carriers without making it look suspicious. We talked about it.'

'And I let you,' Tony replies easily, licking the icing off his thumb. Tastes strange.

(everything is suddenly so strange)

'Stark –'

'Even though I swore to myself I'd never let my tech get into bad guys' hands.'

'It was great of you,' Natasha states simply, meeting Tony's eyes and nodding slightly. 'We couldn't have done it otherwise.'

(she has apologized so many times since then; there are two people in the world she's apologized to so much and the other one is half a world away and in the talisman-necklace she refuses to take off)

'Well, I guess if we're saving the world… It's not like I'm doing the flying in my suits anymore,' he agrees, hand unconsciously rubbing the scarred area where the reactor used to be embedded, now just pale and still so achy when it rains. 'By the way, Sitwell? _Stern_?' he adds, half out of angry curiosity and half to distract himself because it _is_ raining.

'We didn't know about Jas– Sitwell,' Natasha all but hisses. Fury is looking away, jaw clenched, a muscle on his forehead twitching; Tony can't even express how bad he feels for the _former _director. There's nothing that hurts more than betrayal from your people, short of knowing and pretending nothing happened.

They have all known about Pierce, Fury for the longest time, Tony for a few too long months, Natasha for days only. It's strange how much it still hurts and makes the blood boil in their veins, with disappointment more than anything else, when they've been prepared and conditioned to expected situations like this.

Leaving the old world behind.

(everything used to be innocent; they weren't children and weren't naïve but everything _seemed_ to be so innocent, and it's all been a lie)

'It's done now. If they were traitors, they apparently had chosen to be traitors,' Fury declares, and leaves _and I refuse to care about them_ unsaid; they can all hear it and they all know it's a lie. But no one comments; words would make it too real.

'I still can't believe you didn't let me intervene,' Tony says, pouring himself another splash of the whiskey ignoring the slightest tremble to his hand. It's alien and new, in an unwelcome way: being here with a dead man and a woman without identity, planning the future. Tony's always been creating the future, but it's never been cold and methodical; it's never been as a soldier.

That's what the world will need now, though, and he's ready to adapt.

(Pepper kissed him goodbye and told him to stay safe for the journey and he pretended he didn't notice the fear and/or the longing in her eyes)

'Stark,' Fury says, finally looking up, his eye – _eyes_ – burning. 'There was enough time for you to use the kill switch. I know JARVIS could do it for you a hundredth of a second before the 'carriers connected. But it'd be too dangerous to you. HYDRA is still out there.'

'Yeah, because it wasn't dangerous to Cap,' Tony shakes his head in disbelief, swirling the whiskey in practiced smooth movements, and then stands up to pace around the room, steps echoing. 'How is he doing, by the way?'

'Better. Sam is keeping his company, you know, before we try do plan anything. But don't pretend you don't know,' she adds with a little smirk. JARVIS is everywhere in the hospital, letting Tony see and hear what he should see and hear.

(_I like when you smile like this, an honest smile,_ Steve told her yesterday, _this is who you could be, if you're taking advice_)

'You know exactly why I couldn't risk linking anything to you, even remotely, unless absolutely necessary,' Fury says, giving Tony a long look he can feel on his back. 'You're supposed to be out of business. We can't have anyone looking at your hands.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Tony waves his hand, letting some crumbs fall onto the wooden surface. 'And now you're out, too, Nat. Unless you decide to go back to exactly the same place you've been too.'

(_you've made the pillars of our world crumble, we'll make the cities burn if we have to_)

'I wouldn't mind being your PA again,' she pretends to laugh lightly, 'the salary was so good, and I got to tell you what to do.'

They all know being that close would be too suspicious. It's enough that Bruce is living in the tower and working for Tony. They have to keep their distances and be careful, more careful than ever. Like Fury said: don't trust anyone. Almost. The way HYDRA was secretly connected, they are, too, a handful of people to be trusted without doubts.

Just a handful. Everyone else is a question mark.

'I'd send people to install you some central heating, Fury,' Tony says, walking back to stand by his chair, the free hand tapping a random melody on the metal frame. 'But that would compromise the secrecy. Pity.'

Fury raises an eyebrow.

'No, seriously. Take care of yourself until your injuries are healed, I wouldn't want to rush med evac just because you're pretending to be less human than you are. Rest. Let your people do things for you. And yes, reports on paper only, I know, I've seen this look a few hundred times. _Paper_ _only_,' he glances at the back of the room where they burnt so many documents by now, turning people's lives to ash and dust.

'We've had enough mess with digital data as it is,' Natasha mutters, holding her glass tightly, the knuckles of her hands growing white.

'It doesn't matter,' Tony says, taking two steps and wrapping his rough hands around her shoulders, feeling her relax a bit. They have unwritten rules about physical contact but this is acceptable. _Reassurance_.

It does matter because it's everything. everything, _everything_ about all S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets, it's changing thousands of hundreds of agents, destroying lives of hundreds of agents, letting the world know more than it ever should – even if people don't understand what they've been given – and binding everything together in an unacceptable reality, going back too far in the past.

'Whatever's in your head doesn't matter,' Tony repeats, knowing well that Natasha is thinking; it's about his parents, too, and so many other buried memories.

They can be stronger than that.

'The world is in pieces and everything feels so calm,' she says to no one in particular, and neither Fury not Tony respond. 'I wish I didn't know. It's a burden to know.'

'It's a burden,' Fury agrees after a heartbeat, making Tony look at him sharply. Fury's whole life has been nothing but building secrets on secrets, knowing too much, and being alone. 'But it's also a gift, and a responsibility you can't refuse,' he adds, voice dark.

(even if it costs you your life – Pepper agreed with Tony and Clint agreed with Natasha and Maria agreed with Nick – because someone has to bear the burden and there is no one more suited)

'I'll be back in a week,' Natasha stands up suddenly but Tony's hand never leaves her shoulder, he just holds her tighter. 'Things should die down enough to give us a clearer view, and Steve should be out of hospital.'

They all share a nod.

'Don't let anyone see you,' Fury warns them, putting a hand over the grease-stained box protectively, before they go out and leave him alone in the cold semi-darkness.

'We'll be back in a week,' Tony repeats after Natasha and there's something to his voice, a cold and pressing determination, that makes him sound dangerous.

It's warm and humid outside and a mist is raising over the green blanket of forests covering the hills. They take in simultaneous breaths.

Before they separate, Tony stares Natasha for a long moment, giving her a chance to ask her questions, but she's not ready yet. He closes his eyes for a moment and then starts walking without a word, chest tingling dully with every step, as she goes the opposite way, not recognizing her own footsteps.

(_we'll make the world burn_

_if we have to_)

* * *

**A/N: **Because I hope Tony knew and I hope they will be brave enough to change the world now, the world that was torn down (that is what the movie was to me most, _tearing the whole world down_).

Thank you for reading. If you feel like sharing your thoughts on this story or Cap 2 in general, feel free, I'd be happy to read and discuss things since there's so much going on! I hope you enjoyed this story :)


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